I Always Hated Kids

I went to someone's house so we could all go out for a family gathering. Lots of kids, aged around 6 or 7, who are spoiled brats were there, but two of them are fighting about toys. The whole family starts to leave and forgets those two kids so I'm trying to get them ready to go. The family left and I told one kid that we have to go right now, so he runs out in just his underwear and jumps into the snow. I didn't have any shoes on, so I'm getting ready to go save him. Then the other kid starts staring at me and saying creepy stuff from the other side of the room, while a rocking chair by him starts rocking uncomfortably fast all by itself.

I hear a thumping in the background and turn to look at the kid in the snow, and the lawn decorations came to life. One of them was a huge purple man strangling the boy and hitting his head against the snow. I yell out at the man and he ignores me until I start to run after them. The purple man drops the boy and goes into the backyard, so I bring the boy inside to warm up. I try having a talk with the other boy saying he needs to forgive his brother for the toy thing, and how family is annoying but we need to forgive and grow with each other. He just kept getting mad and calling me stupid while the furniture comes to life and starts trying to kill me. Suddenly the floor moves and pushes me outside, and the purple guy has one of the kids and is running around the lawn with him. I try chasing him but the white picket fence turned into daggers and started rolling around throwing them at me

Arcade on the Water

I was living on a strange house where the floor floated on top of the lake. My friend, Levi, was visiting and we were playing Game Boy, but he was somehow uploading everything into a PS3 he was carrying around because he wanted the extra storage space. He also had some tech magazine, he was trying to explain things in it, which I understood perfectly, but kept skipping it saying I wouldn't understand.

Eventually a bunch of people started to arrived for a party. We had these weird high tech glasses, one pair could calculate distances and could x-ray to measure depth. One of the guys there kept complaining about how nobody can touch his back because it's extremely sensitive and hurts way too much. I used the glasses to look, and his left side was completely shaved, but his right side had a hair mat that was four inches thick.

The party went on and as it got late, everyone there was an asshole to everyone, but we started discussing sleeping arrangements for the 16 people there. Then some huge waves started to shoot up through the floorboards, I ran through them to find out what was going on. A couple of the people were standing in the lake, grabbing the floorboards and shaking them to make the waves. I yelled at them to knock it off, but it was too late and the house broke off from the shoreline and floated out onto the lake. It crashed into an offshore arcade, and my sister commented about how this feels like a shitty movie.

We all went inside to play the arcade games, and I went around to explore. I found a medical room with a few EMTs sitting around smoking cigarettes, and a man sitting with him who couldn't breathe. I went back to the games, and this little Korean kid started following me around. There was this miniature curling game that was similar to a skee-ball table, but with a layer of ice on it. I kept using the curling stone to scrape off the ice because I thought it was cool watching the ice reform.

Then a little Korean boy came up to me and started poking me in the back, but I kept telling him to leave me alone because I wanted to play with the ice. Eventually I got bored and went back to talk to my sister, she showed me a sticker she found. I pointed at the boy and said "I think I found the neighborhood pet, don't give him attention, he's annoying." Which made him embarrassed and he left, so my sister and I went back to playing games. I take a closer look at the tokens for the games, and notice that they're all close up pictures of all the different body parts of a Korean woman, but with black figures shadowing over things.

The boy shows back up again and starts throwing tokens at us, I caught one and the picture was an eye crying blood. I called out, "Hey! He's got the weird coins!" and I start to chase after him, but my sister yells that I shouldn't go. When I get around the corner, I see his dad there, he's furious. He starts stomping and his face shrivels up and he yells, "Silence! Search no longer!" And black blood started pouring out of his face.

Walmart Cult

I was in Walmart making a documentary about police violence. There was an old lady and an employee who was around 6'6, a bit bigger, and he had a ponytail. They were arguing about her eyeglass prescription. She's saying how it's ridiculous how easy it is to remove organs from people and that there's probably bodies in the street. Ponytail tells her to just go to checkout because she's crazy. I ask him for an interview and he says sure after he gets done with his shift.

I walk around the front of Walmart, it's getting close to twilight. And that old lady hands me a thick black blanket with the anarchy symbol on it and tells me to keep warm tonight, I didn't ask any questions I was just like "fuck okay, thanks, this is awesome."

Ponytail walks out and we start the interview, he wants to be anonymous so we did the shadow face thing you see in documentaries. He tells me about how the police are brutal in this area, every night it gets worse, and if I just stuck around, I would see what really happens, so I decide that I will.

I sat on a bench wrapped up in the anarchy blanket and just watched the people in the parking lot trickle out as the sun went down. Eventually I see a few cops show up and they start spraying graffiti on the ground. After they leave I go and take some pictures of it, do a little of my own graffiti on top of it and take another picture.

Ponytail shows up and comments on my graffiti. The same cops show up to yell at me that graffiti is illegal, and ponytail says "I think you've seen enough already" and he put his hands forward. His skin starting to bubble and wrinkle, and his skin was moving around. The police fell to the ground and their skin falls off and all their organs spill out onto the asphalt.

I turn over to ponytail and suddenly he's wearing a red robe that's way too big for him, can't see his face or hands or anything other skin. The sky is deep red, and there's a ton of other people in red robes slowly getting closer. Ponytail says something like "you've learned too much" and he pulls out a dime. I started begging him to let me live and I say I won't say anything. He flips the dime and it lands on the ground, he says "in 5 minutes" and I kept begging more. He flips a quarter and it lands on the ground "you'll be on your last life.. better make it count." He pulls back his robe and shows his wrinkly hands, and he puts his sleeve up to my face and tells me to drink. I "drink" from it but there's nothing there, just air, and I instantly woke up.

Extradimensional Sandwiches

A friend of mine had gambling addiction in this dream and would shave her legs as she gambled. Her, me, and a couple other people went to Subway and we were all chilling. My pants were also very very bright red. We were making our own sandwiches, and nobody could count except me so I had to show everyone how many slices of meat to put on. There was a missing half of a sandwich and after we sat down, the gambler was talking about how she ate the missing sandwich and wondered if she could get the other half for free too. But then one friend started making fun of her saying "you threw up the half you ate, why would you want the other half?" She turned really red and embarrassed because it was true, and then I thought it would be a good idea to wave some turkey slices around in front of her face before eating them.

A random guy shows up and grabs the gambler's ankles and picks her up by them and yells something like "RAZOR BURNS ON YOUR ANKLES!? YOU'VE BEEN GAMBLING AGAIN HAVEN'T YOU??" and throws her out the window. My friends and I rush outside and it turns out the subway is in a weird alternate dimension. There's also a cactus outside and her body was gone, just leaving her cellphone on the ground. We all assume Minecraft logic, where if you drop an item onto a cactus, it is totally destroyed. We start to mourn her disintegration, and I angrily take off my red pants and throw them at the subway because I'm frustrated there was nothing we could do.

As I'm mourning, I go through a portal and there's four floating platforms above a forest with vines on the platforms stretching all the way down. There's this strange gold statues on the platforms holding orbs, I get a really uneasy feeling that something is going to come after me in this world, so I go to a different one. This one has the platforms on the forest floor, and I feel like whatever is after me is even closer so I decide to go back to the subway dimension. I end up on the roof and there's these weird animal men with weapons running around the subway, I see my bright red pants on the roof and quickly try to put them on. But they were all bunched up so I had to like shake my leg to unravel them as I put my legs through. And then I got a text from the gambler saying I'm an idiot because she was hiding in her phone the whole time.

Curie's Odyssey

I had a dream that I lived in this little ocean side town in this weird Studio Ghibli-esque fantasy world. I was with this old guy who left the town on a boat to go and look for something. But I had a paramotor that I would fly around on with my cat, Curie.

We were running out of water and the old guy was going crazy and started drinking the salt water, we were far away from home, but we were close to another town that I found while flying around with Curie. So we land there, the old guy says he's going to stay there, and I decide to go home.

We were really far away, so I decided to look for a train, so Curie and I go flying around until we find this big city and we went to explore it. Eventually I got on a rickshaw and they started going without Curie, I kept begging them to stop for her as I was watching her chase the rickshaw screaming at me before she managed to jump on.

Later we eventually got onto a train headed to our hometown. It was really old and the windows were broken, Curie decided to jump out the window as the train was stopped at the station. I wasn't very concerned about it, but the person sitting next to me called me a bad cat owner for letting her go, and I said "if you love someone, let them go." He called me an idiot for saying that and that if you love something, you shouldn't ever let them leave you. It turned into a big debate, but I ended it with "as long as Curie's happy, I'm happy."

Eventually I got back home, and I was saying hi to everyone and after awhile Curie started screaming at me again as she beat me home.

Gordon Ramsey's Cock Kitchen

Gordon Ramsey hired a bunch of college students, including me, for researching something. He had all of us stand in a line with large wood planks and he was wearing massive bellows on his feet. He would walk onto the planks and the bellows would blow the hats off of the students, he was getting really angry at yelling at every student for very specific things, usually stuff that didn't matter.

I showed up late, so I was at the end of the line, so he never even got to me because he was just yelling the whole time. Eventually he told everyone to leave, but he told me to stay and to drop my pants. I told him no but then he offered me more money so I said fuck it and I did. He put some drops of some essential oil on my dick and held it in his hands and started to say mantas. Dream me knew that in this universe this was some new controversial way of having visions and certain people's dicks would work better than others. He started frantically writing some things down, so I knew that I was apparently very valuable to his next phase of research. I was getting very uncomfortable because he was such an asshole to everyone, and my sister showed up to take me home. Ramsey kept yelling how he was going to pay me more, and I said I wanted at least $10 a second of cock touching and his face turned super red before he started screaming that I don't deserve that kind of money, and I just told him he's a jerk and left.

San Francisco Island

This was back around 2012 or 2013, I was staying over at a friends house and had this dream. The first thing I did was tell my friend about my dream and I still remember it to this day.

The world was made up of different floating islands in the ocean, each island represented a specific culture from all time periods and places. I was living on "Viking Island" and was with two of my real life friends. We were in the center of the island when a pillar of bright blue water came down from the sky and a woman descended within it. She told us "You must all push Viking Island into San Francisco Island, and slay them all." Everyone looked at each other in confusion, one person said that the color of the pillar's water was too blue and doesn't match the ocean's blue, so it should not be trusted. But the general consensus was that we wanted to raid anyway, so we all jumped into the water and started pushing together. Not long after, the island crashes into San Francisco Island, and everyone storms it. Everyone on the island was an extremely stereotypical 2012-era hipster and emo type and they just tried to run away.

One of my friends and I stumbled into an old, dusty server room with a large monitor. As we walked in, it lit up and announced, "BRING ME BLUEPRINTS." But since my friend and I were from Viking Island, we didn't know what that meant, so we tried our best by bringing it various objects we found trying to figure out what it wanted. Things like trash we found in bins, squirrels, birds, items in the server room, but the monitor just kept replying, "THIS IS NOT A BLUEPRINT." Eventually we just got annoyed and left to go raid some more San Francisco homes.