Noodle Head

I was sitting in a university lecture, and the guy sitting in front of us was bald and had huge wounds all over his head. But there was one spot that looked exactly like ramen noodles with chunks of chicken in it. My friend kept poking and pulling at all of it, and Noodle Head just kept giggling saying "oh stop it." Eventually we all couldn't help but touch it because it was just so weird. It was as if he had huge gouges in his skull and then stuffed them with ramen and chicken. Eventually we pulled it all out, and we were covered in bloody ramen and the professor wouldn't let us clean up.

Caucasion Massages

I was in high school again and there was this girl that I liked, but I was really confused about if I should ask her out or not. But we were hanging out a lot outside of school recently and she kept making hints that she liked me. Then when I went to the high school, I had a shopping cart and I was bringing it to the cafeteria. That girl told me "If you were ever my date to a wedding, you'd have to be my boyfriend. Also, my cousin is getting married this weekend, get a tux so you can come" and I just left in confusion.

As I was wheeling my shopping cart I was lost in thought, and I accidentally walked all the way to the middle school part. So I turned around and went back to the cafeteria, but I got stopped by four of my male teachers. They said they're making changes around here and handed me a pamphlet and said they were going to take me back to class so they could let the other students know. As they walked me back, I read the pamphlet.

It said that in order to maintain student safety, they were going to keep all the Caucasian students together separate from the rest. And then the rest of the pamphlet showed a bunch of different penis massage techniques, saying how they are required for men to properly function in society, so the women staff and students would have to provide massages to the men whenever they asked.

When I got back to class, there was only a few other students and the teacher was playing porn on the projector. I sat down next to a friend and the teacher took someone out of the room to have a chat with them. I showed my friend the pamphlet and told him how outraged I was about it. He just said "I don't know, penis massages sound kind of nice" and I got so mad I flipped the table and ran out with my shopping cart.

Gordon Ramsey's Cock Kitchen

Gordon Ramsey hired a bunch of college students, including me, for researching something. He had all of us stand in a line with large wood planks and he was wearing massive bellows on his feet. He would walk onto the planks and the bellows would blow the hats off of the students, he was getting really angry at yelling at every student for very specific things, usually stuff that didn't matter.

I showed up late, so I was at the end of the line, so he never even got to me because he was just yelling the whole time. Eventually he told everyone to leave, but he told me to stay and to drop my pants. I told him no but then he offered me more money so I said fuck it and I did. He put some drops of some essential oil on my dick and held it in his hands and started to say mantas. Dream me knew that in this universe this was some new controversial way of having visions and certain people's dicks would work better than others. He started frantically writing some things down, so I knew that I was apparently very valuable to his next phase of research. I was getting very uncomfortable because he was such an asshole to everyone, and my sister showed up to take me home. Ramsey kept yelling how he was going to pay me more, and I said I wanted at least $10 a second of cock touching and his face turned super red before he started screaming that I don't deserve that kind of money, and I just told him he's a jerk and left.