Too Many Pets

I was in my bedroom with my cat, Curie and my old cat, Hexe. Only in this alternate universe we had way to many weird pets. Curie was introduced to a few of them which she all disliked, including an alligator, a gorilla, and a pig. I was sitting in my room about to roll a joint. There were little poops all over my room suddenly and they'd slowly shrink down and disintegrate over time before being replaced. I gave Hexe some pets and every time I turned around to look at another animal, there would be a new one in my room. First was a parrot who was cleaning Curie, she actually liked the parrot. Then a duck, then the pig, and then a gorilla. At that point I was sick of the poops and felt too crowded and decided to kick everyone out of my room. I went to get a bag for the poop, and Curie followed me.

The parrot and duck were playing in the sink, the parrot knew how to turn it on. But they started making a mess, so Curie hopped up there and said ,"wow these idiots, you're lucky I'm here to keep things in order" and I just responded with, "you're right Curie, you're the best." I walked past the basement and the alligator was sitting down there, but I ignored it and kept looking for a bag. Then I heard Curie yowling and I quickly turned around. She had all her claws in me, holding on for dear life because the alligator bit down and was holding on to her tail. My sister noticed immediately and grabbed the alligator from behind and was pulling it backwards. I grabbed one of those mouse on a stick toys that just happened to be by me and started smacking the alligator with it, which it then let go of Curie. I wagged the toy in front of it so it would bite down on the toy instead, while it was distracted, my sister grabbed it from behind and picked it up. Scolding it saying that cats aren't for eating and she brought it into the basement.

FemmeTube

I went on a date with a really tall body builder-type woman, she wanted to go hiking in the snow. We were both naked, and I couldn't keep up with her pace, so she just gave me a piggy back ride as she sprinted through the hills. After the date, I got on the bus I rode in high school to go home. It missed my stop and I ended up in a grassy field that I had to walk through to get home. It was full of snakes and tiny painted turtles with snake heads, they'd all jump out and try and bite me, so I had to kick them or step on them just to get through the grass. Eventually I made it home and sat down at my computer desk. I opened up YouTube and they introduced a new version called FemmeTube which blocked all toxically masculine content.

Precious Condoms

I was playing cards with someone on a table, on a railroad track, at a crossroads in the middle of nowhere. Then we saw a mine cart with a woman in it moving down the tracks toward us, and a dog ran up to say hello to us. I slapped down my cards and told the stranger I was playing with that we should go on an adventure and invite that woman and bring the dog, he said sure.

When the woman got to us, she was obviously homeless and we asked if she wanted to go into town with us because we have a cute dog. She said sure and started showing us the items she she had on her. She had a used muffin liner that she kept a few coins and unwrapped condoms in. I asked her why they were unwrapped and she said it was so they can fit in the liner. She only had a few but they were precious to her even though she'd sleep with anyone as long as they used a condom. We didn't ask any more questions and got into the car and started driving

She started telling us about all the sexual experiences she had lately, and saying whether or not they were worth the use of a precious condom or not. But in my dream they played out as third person flashbacks of us watching her having sex with her narrating the experience, which were usually just them in missionary saying "wow this was not worth a condom."