Ego Uncle

I had an uncle who constantly felt the need to be the hero, so we would throw huge parties for him to celebrate even the smallest of good deeds he did. We would always hire a photographer and tell him it was because the newspaper wanted to publish the story.

We would often exaggerate the good deed to make it sound more like it was worth celebrating, and essentially gaslight him into thinking he actually did something really amazing. We were throwing a party because he gave someone a compliment, but the story kept getting exaggerated to the point where the cake said "Jeff is so great for saving that disabled veteran who fell from the sky, giving him a good education, and then some sandwiches."

In stark contrast to his wife, who everyone hated. She told another family member that she's so fat that she needs to eat in the car so nobody has to watch her, which she did just to get away from her. I started talking to my family, asking why she was so rude to everyone and trying to psychoanalyze her behavior, but everyone just told me I'm overthinking things and she's just a bitch.

I Always Hated Kids

I went to someone's house so we could all go out for a family gathering. Lots of kids, aged around 6 or 7, who are spoiled brats were there, but two of them are fighting about toys. The whole family starts to leave and forgets those two kids so I'm trying to get them ready to go. The family left and I told one kid that we have to go right now, so he runs out in just his underwear and jumps into the snow. I didn't have any shoes on, so I'm getting ready to go save him. Then the other kid starts staring at me and saying creepy stuff from the other side of the room, while a rocking chair by him starts rocking uncomfortably fast all by itself.

I hear a thumping in the background and turn to look at the kid in the snow, and the lawn decorations came to life. One of them was a huge purple man strangling the boy and hitting his head against the snow. I yell out at the man and he ignores me until I start to run after them. The purple man drops the boy and goes into the backyard, so I bring the boy inside to warm up. I try having a talk with the other boy saying he needs to forgive his brother for the toy thing, and how family is annoying but we need to forgive and grow with each other. He just kept getting mad and calling me stupid while the furniture comes to life and starts trying to kill me. Suddenly the floor moves and pushes me outside, and the purple guy has one of the kids and is running around the lawn with him. I try chasing him but the white picket fence turned into daggers and started rolling around throwing them at me

Noodle Head

I was sitting in a university lecture, and the guy sitting in front of us was bald and had huge wounds all over his head. But there was one spot that looked exactly like ramen noodles with chunks of chicken in it. My friend kept poking and pulling at all of it, and Noodle Head just kept giggling saying "oh stop it." Eventually we all couldn't help but touch it because it was just so weird. It was as if he had huge gouges in his skull and then stuffed them with ramen and chicken. Eventually we pulled it all out, and we were covered in bloody ramen and the professor wouldn't let us clean up.